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5th of Oct- Monday. 1998
Today 11 0’clock, symptoms Sam Goes to the Vet. A very sad day. His physical condition is such that putting him to sleep is the only sensible option left. His back legs are all but gone. and his innards are in ruins
Sam is dead. Expunged with a lethal injection. I signed the consent form .I signed him out
and watched the life drain out of him, prostate there in front of me, on the rubber topped table
The holes been dug, Sam’s body is curled up in a cardboard box.
And now we are waiting. When Dan comes in from school we’ll bury him.
Under the herring bone bricks in the back garden.
I’m trying very hard not to cry,.but I know I will

Thursday Oct 8th 1998
You may be the winner of a painting. Do not open this envelope until Nov.5th.
Coffee. Grey skies. Feeling wonderful. Stomach bubbling. I’m not depressed.
I told you! listen to me! I’m not repressed, I’m just laying here becalmed under a grey sky,
feeling wonderful

This is it.!
Once upon a time a fifty two year old man sat in a top floor window starring out at the street below. He thought the black bin bag flapping in the rungs of the wrought iron railings across the road was a cat.
So much for Zeiss precision lenses.

Friday 9th Oct 1998

Boop’s Birthday, Flowers galore. Good old Dan.
I’ve just eaten a chocolate biscuit cold remedy, and now I feel sick.
. Treasure Island waits on the illuminated incline. of my drawing table.
New nib, more tea.
I’m ready .
Sunday 11th Oct
Argument last night, soured the day. Left us both emotionally ragged. Watching Journey to the centre of The Earth Fit for nothing else. Plenty of sugar to turn the old stomach. I should be working but can’t raise the energy. God willing Monday will bring relief. It’s been a fucking awful week. We learnt yesterday that Eve, from two doors up had been killed in a traffic accident at Preston Circus a couple of days before, whilst crossing where she shouldn’t. A salutary lesson for us all, soon I suspect to be forgotten.

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